Hakeem Babalola
These poor, naive and confused Naija people self. They never cease to amaze me. They are blind, deaf and unable to think properly. Instead of action, they spend their lives talking about revolution. Coward Naija people! Instead of presenting pile of evidence against me, they are busy tarnishing my image around town. They are hypocrites – all of them. They are sycophants – no exception.
These poor, naive and confused Naija people self. They never cease to amaze me. They are blind, deaf and unable to think properly. Instead of action, they spend their lives talking about revolution. Coward Naija people! Instead of presenting pile of evidence against me, they are busy tarnishing my image around town. They are hypocrites – all of them. They are sycophants – no exception.
These Naija people self. They are fond of idle talk. They don’t know what it is they want. They spend their lives building a house without laying foundation. Is this possible? They say I am the problem. They even call me evil genius, murderer, 419er. They say I killed my bosom friend when in fact we should kill all coup plotters. They want me dead for crimes I didn’t commit. They lampoon me more than any other malefactors. Why only me? After all, I was only following in my predecessor’s footsteps. Sikena.
These Naija people self. They are archaic idiots. They have not grasped Machiavellian concept if they think I am becoming increasingly worried about their whining. Why should I? If those before me who raped the land got away with such abominable crime, why should you persecute IBB? Even if I stole money as allegedly charged, I was only being fashionable so let me enjoy my sweat. I will not waste time highlighting my achievements because I know your preconceived opinion about IBB. Well, how did I manage to rule for eight years if I was not competent enough? Something must be wrong with the citizens then. I mean to say that I reflect the nation’s character. Persecute IBB, persecute the entire nation.
These Naija people self. They ain’t seeing nothing yet. They should wait until April, 2007 when I would force most of them to take own lives. Most especially the man called Senior Advocate of the Masses or Conscience of the Nation or whatever. I would deal with him ruthlessly this time unless he forgets the slogan: who kills Dele Giwa. Though deep down, he is the only man I fear – even I respect him.
Forget the so-called intellectuals! They are good-for-nothing. And professional beggars they are. Every military man dislikes them. In fact, they have started romancing me. Omo Omoruyi, Bolaji Akinyemi and co. I know what they want. I know their agitation. I know they always use what they have to get what they want. Even the late Conscience of the Nation called Tai Solarin, a social critic of no equal. A man of his own words who swore never to put on Agbada! And didn’t I robe him in complete Agbada? If not for his transparent honesty, I would have destroyed the virtue he cherished as caterpillar feeds on plants. Thank Allah he’s no more.
Who else? Ah, those press boys and girls with their hubbub? Well, experience has taught me how to deal with them. By the way, have you forgotten the tactics I used when I usurped power? I released their colleagues jailed by power hungry Tunde and Muhammadu. But I know what they also want. These newspaper people are funny. I am surprised the principled ones among them never query their colleagues whenever they accept government appointment. Instead of sticking to their yeye watchdog of the society, some of them have joined us in sharing mama’s cake.
Remi Oyo or what is her name? Is she not serving senior Obasanjo now? See what I mean. What of the one called England Confidential now serving Oyo state governor whose mandate remains controversial! What of Niran Malaolu serving baba’s boy in Ogun State? See what I mean. What do you think they call brown envelope? Even those crazy hungry website writers are not excluded. Give anyone of them a ministerial post and see what become of them. Have you seen the interview Elendureports had with me recently? Go and read it and tell me whether that was an interview or public relations.
O boy, they didn’t name me Maradonna for nothing. Who is that guy who started that nonsense? Anyway, I’m gonna shut his lipstick basket mouth by appointing him chairman of Road Safety Corps like his mentor, who once served under me but later proved stubborn. Professors my foot.
Or have you forgotten how I managed to carry the one you called the late sage with me in those interesting days? It was my training in the art of rhetoric that eventually did the magic. Shall I remind you what I said then? "In Nigerian politics, it’s either you’re with Awolowo or against him." Of course the Ikemba was right when he eulogised him as the best president Nigeria never had.
These Naija people self. Instead of going separate ways, they engage in self-deceit, thinking their differences would soon be solved. They were easily cajoled into following our master plan – since that first coup. Do you think senior Segun believe in one Naija? Continue deceiving yourself. My friend, we the elites have always been ardently pro-One Naija because it serves our purpose. It makes you guys forever our servants.
Inshall Allah it’s my turn again and none of you can stop me. Not even the media puerile campaign against me. It is a do or die affair. Mallam, forget about senior Segun’s double-talk, saying politics isn’t a do or die affair. In a free and fair election, me mallam IBB will defeat anybody and I mean anybody. Go see the recent advert inside Thisday newspaper of August 7. It will certainly convince you. I am your choice because I am the nation's mirror.
I am aware that OBJ has employed the services of America to trace my loot, but nothing would ever be found. That’s the difference between Ibrahim the man and Sani the boy. Did they not release my son after that arrest? Naija people, please continue snoring until eternity. Continue barking without biting or clawing. Continue your whining and crawling. But ye shall never understand. Was it not Obasanjo who said that whoever had any evidence against me should produce it or shut up their stinking mouth? My friend, we are delighted in having got you punch-drunk with our games.
Gullible people you shall forever remain. Do you think I stepped aside because of Naija’s unity or love? I did it as a last resort; to cool you down, so I can return to my inheritance called Nigeria. And my offspring shall also rule you. It’s not a curse but how it has been written in the beginning. It is either I rule again or there would be no Nigeria. After all, that’s our initial agreement, a very gentleman’s agreement indeed.
By the way, where are those pseudo patriots? They are too chicken to stay around. We have chased them away. Let them continue blowing hot and cold from exile, their lovely adopted nations. We shall continue to rule here in Naija. We are the owner of Lord Lugard’s Company. It is our inheritance. Period
Ah, there’s something I haven’t told anybody in my life. If you want to fight a Yoruba wo/man, just make friend with another Yoruba – and victory shall be yours. It’s definitely a cause on them by Afonja. They would never stop fighting one another. Yeah, Olu Falae and co are my liberty, equality, and fraternity...
